I haven’t been to a pro football game for a long time. Definitely before I could drive. Maybe before I turned double digits. I’ve now been spoiled from ever doing it like a normal person again.
From now on, if I go, I must: 1) have a chauffeured limo drive me there 2) I must sit in the first section of seats, low enough to see the field clearly and be within shouting distance of the team, but high enough so that my seats back up against the patio of a fully stocked bar, which I can… 3) go into anytime I want and sit in heated comfort and watch any number of big-screen TVs and/or use the restroom, (though it would be excellent if these two things could be simultaneous) and… 4) be surrounded by celebrities… and….5) this is the most important part: I have to drink free beer and eat free food at said bar all afternoon.
We’ll start with that…