The Spice

The big vacuum that sucked the dust out of our ducts reminded me of the sandworms in Dune. Which made me think that maybe our duct dust and debris was actually The Spice: a powerfully addictive, yet life-enhancing awareness spectrum narcotic. And these two unsuspecting Polish dudes weren’t cleaning my ducts at all. They were actually Spice miners, stealing it right out of my house while I sat there and let them do it like an asshole. They probably did Spice every morning on their way to jobs, which explained their surprising youthful appearance and energy. And their uncanny ability to know what I was thinking before I said it.