Groundhog Relativity Theory

Listen, Runt: A storm has broken

in my mind. I have solved

everything.

Time is an illusion, relative

only to our positions

in space.

Go fast, and time slows

down. Go slow and

time speeds up.

There is no last week

or yesterday or

tomorrow.

The universe is a vast collection of

nows. Each moment exists

eternally.

So look: somewhere, we are

forever catching

a groundhog.

All we have to do is find that moment

and figure out how to

remain there.