Wicker Princess

I am the Wicker Princess.

I will sit on some freakin’ wicker all day, even in the midst of a front-lawn sprinkler occurrence.

I can sit for hours because I am so goddamned pretty.

Look, I know: I am one pretty bitch.

But don’t try to offer me a wicker situation without a cushion.

I am not the kind of girl to just sit straight on some nasty-ass wicker.

A Wicker Princess needs a proper cushion for Christ’s sake.