We’re calling him The Bambino because he was custom-ordered with Yankees colors by the first owner (no, seriously) who had to trade him in early for a larger model.

He is a 2012, slightly used Audi A4. My favorite parts of him are: 1) the headlights, which are shaped like eagle eyes and 2) the sexy rims and Pirelli shoes.

As I’ve already established, I’m heavy into tire porn. These guys are all-season, so I won’t be doing the switch each fall and spring, which is sort of sad, but also sort of not.

We will miss Hoshi’s loud, beastly engine. But we won’t miss her tight suspension and rough handling over potholes, which Jersey has in ample quantities. The Bambino kicks Hoshi’s ass by a good 4 seconds in the zero to sixty, and he does it in a much smoother, quieter, indeed gentler way.

The Bambino is all grace.