Critter-Hunting Slabs

This weekend we went to the stone store, which is not a store where they have Stone Beer, but rather a store where they have various types of actual rocks.

And in the way-way back of the stone store’s rock lot, where two dirt roads crossed, we found these Critter-Hunting Slabs.

The Bald Man let us off-leash while he analyzed them. I guarded him from possible attackers and Honey secured our perimeter. He compared the slabs to other slabs of similar size and weight, but which were ultimately inferior to these for reasons I didn’t fully understand, but which must’ve had to do with Genius.

He picked the slabs carefully, and stacked them on a palette, and a man came and picked them up with a machine that was loud like The Devil, if The Devil could pick things up with its horns, which who is to say The Devil can’t do such a thing? And therefore who is to say that this loud machine was not, in fact, The Devil?

And so on this day, which was hot and sunny and made our tongues hang and our breath quick, we did business at The Crossroads with The Devil for some Critter-Hunting Slabs, which is about as good a way as any to spend a Saturday.

The Slabs weighed in at 280 pounds, which seemed like a lot of Slab if you thought about it. But the reality is: you don’t want to skimp on Critter Hunting Slabs. We all know this, deep down, if we’re being honest with ourselves.

And look, while we’re being honest, I should come clean. The truth is: I didn’t even realize they were Critter Hunting Slabs until we brought them home and the Bald Man dropped them over the Critter Hunting Path we’d cut long ago.

Now I am able to hunt critter without being slowed down or slipped up by a mud-foot situation.

Which is definitely something having to do with Genius.

Or maybe just a sold soul. A sold soul worth about 280 pounds in Critter Hunting Slabs.