Kaiya, Queen of Rope Toys

I am Kaiya, Queen of Rope Toys known in various
Southern enclaves (like South Orange) as
Poo Poo (short for Poo Poo Butt).

Among Canadian Royalty and Saugney Hosers
as Lady Licks-A-Lot.

My natural born name is Wiggle Butts.

I’m known for eating tissues from
the trash.

Also the white fluffy popcorn that
comes in cardboard boxes.

I will walk all over a goddamned house with a bone
while wagging my tail.

I am never ever guilty about a slow, liquid fart.

I will kick the shit out of a lawn mower or a
weed-wacker or a vacuum cleaner.

And I will lick the shit out of your ankles and
toes in the morning.

If a Bald Man goes, I will follow, and if you put
me behind a door I will try to jump over
or through it. I don’t even know which
and it don’tĀ matter much, anyways.

TAGS: | |